Let me be clear about this: I’d like to buy an iPhone3G but I don’t really want to lose my current number. It’s not rocket science.

I’ve been an O2 customer for well over 8 years now. In that time I think I’ve had one upgrade, probably about 5 years ago. My monthly bills are small, but I was eligible for a silver upgrade, at least until everything changed in the ‘O2 Upgrade Fiasco’ a couple of weeks ago.

I live in Achill, Mayo so I don’t have much of a choice of O2 shops. Back in July, I put my name down on the waiting list in the Castlebar store. At the time, as I say, I was eligible for an upgrade and of course the only way to keep my number was to buy from a ‘real’ store, where I would be able to ‘upgrade’. I use the term ‘upgrade’ because that’s what O2 call it, but it’s nothing of the sort. There is no discount or other privilege associated with this particular type of ‘upgrade’ (to an iPhone), except that you get to keep your old number.

So, back to my call to customer care. Oh yes, I’m told, I can have one straight away. They are in stock in a lot of places, apparently, just not in my godforsaken backwater. After much ‘checking’ I was asked ‘Are you near a big city?’ No. Dublin is 5 hours. Galway or Sligo are 2.5. OK, no problem, just go online and order one.

Oh but no, I can’t keep my number. And I’m not eligible for an upgrade anymore. I’m out of contract, so I can close my account and buy an iPhone as a new customer, in which case I’ll get a new number. So I’ll have to tell all my friends, family, business associates etc. that my number has changed. I know, it’s hardly the end of the world. But is it really necessary? It’s a small nuisance and I’ll have to learn a new number, but no-one died. O2 will have to close one account and set up another, for the same person, at the same address, with the same bank details. Bit of a waste of time and money really.

Surely, I say to the customer service person, this is a nonsense? Wouldn’t it be more sensible just to give me the ‘upgrade’? Makes no difference to what I pay, I’d still be signing up for 18 months, it saves a few admin euro and saves me some hassle. Oh no, can’t do that. Computer says no. Suddenly I’m in the middle of a ‘Little Britain’ sketch.

Me: Aren’t you a bit embarrassed about this?

Customer Services: What do you mean?

Me: Haven’t there been lots of complaints about this?

CS: Yes, I think there have.

Me: So don’t you feel a bit embarrassed?

CS: Well, yes, I suppose so.

Me: So my only options are to close my account and buy an iPhone as a ‘new’ customer, or go without.

CS: You could wait until you are eligible for an upgrade.

Me: How long would that take?

CS: [checks my account] At your current rate of use it could take a couple of months.

Me: A couple of months? I haven’t used an upgrade in 5 years and I’m not eligible yet, but you think just a couple more months?

CS: Well, maybe a bit longer.

Me: What, like a year? Another 5 years? 10? Maybe I’ll be dead before I’m eligible? Maybe I can have my shiny new iPhone placed in my coffin with me?

CS: [a slight giggle] Probably not that long. You can check your eligibility online.

The conversation goes on: there is no facility to just add an upgrade to my account. No, a supervisor could not do it. No, none of the managers could do it either. Could Danuta Gray do it? Well, maybe, they don’t know. Don’t you think it’s just a bit mad? Well, yes, but that’s the way it works.

What a great system. O2 would rather close an account and open a new one, for no extra revenue, inconveniencing both parties. I’d love to meet the brains behind this idea.

I don’t think I need to go on. Naturally I’m disappointed, but hey ho, there’s nothing to be done. I’ll still get an iPhone, but maybe I’ll wait for the 3rd generation model? Watch this space!

I’ve also said to friends that I’m at that age where I have to be convinced that the product is right and the time is right. As you may know I’m a huge Apple fan and until the iPhone no other smartphone had really attracted me. Having the latest/smartest gadget doesn’t do it for me, but that’s a personal thing. I need to see real utility and ways in which my life will be made easier, even if the product design is dreamy.

I decided not to pre-order the 3G at the beginning of July. Why? Well, I’ve never been an “early adopter,” preferring to follow on in the second wave. Also, there was a lot of discussion on the O2 forum about the inadequacy of the data cap (1GB per month) and the forum moderator had agreed to raise the issue with O2 “management” to see if it could be raised. I felt that if there was a big demand for the handset at the pre-order stage it would undermine our argument for raising the cap.

[I'd like to say that, with hindsight, I now believe that there was never any chance of the data cap being raised, or of any of the other requests on the forum leading to a more generous tariff. Looking back at the launch of the 2G iPhone and what happened over the next few months it is clear that O2 Ireland feel there is enough demand at the existing prices, so the scalping continues. Compare this with O2 UK - chalk and cheese. Maybe O2 Ireland will prove me wrong - that would be nice - but I won't hold my breath. It's a shame that the Irish consumer has simply capitulated. We should take a leaf out of the Canadians' book.]

A short time after pre-orders “sold out” it became clear that this “system” was based more on the concept of “a wing and a prayer” rather than careful planning. So it proved to be, with launch day bringing many stories of pre-orders being unfulfilled, and some very unhappy customers to boot.

As if to add insult to injury, we then had the “activation debacle” – nothing to do with O2, purely Apple’s problem. I have no wish to defend O2 but I think a number of users have been rather unfair, saying O2 should have insisted that Apple had an adequate system in place. Let’s be frank, O2 have as much sway over Apple as I do over George Bush.

I am not proud of it but I must admit to considerable schadenfreude. I’m glad that I’m not one to rush into these things.

So will I get an iPhone 3G (once they are back in stock)? To recap what I said about the 2G model:
- memory: I’d prefer to have 32GB (my iTunes collection – all legal – currently runs to over 17GB with a couple of short videos). But 16GB is still the maximum. How long will it be until the memory is increased? I’d say minimum 6 months, possibly a year. of course I could load just a subset of my music; 3 or 4GB is still a lot of music. Applications from the App Store seem to be quite slim so a couple of GB for them should be plenty. Contacts and calendars can’t take up that much room, surely? And I’m unlikely to want to store my emails on the phone. OK, 16GB is probably enough.
- 3G: tick
- O2 tariffs: unchanged. This was my main complaint last time round, and I still think they are very mean. I also suspect they won’t change in the foreseeable future.
- Software: now that 2.0 and the SDK are here, and the App Store, this shouldn’t be a problem.

I know there are still a few holes in the spec but to be honest I don’t think many, if any, will trouble me too much. MMS I can do without and a 2MP camera is adequate. Many of the issues are software related, which will be resolved in due course.

GPS is a bonus, and it may even be useful occasionally. It is kind of crippled by the small antenna, so true turn-by-turn navigation is off the menu, and this is a great shame. Half a GPS is just a toy really. Perhaps TomTom or Garmin will produce a plug-in antenna for it?

Anyway, back to my decision. Memory size and tariffs are unchanged, but we have 3G and the SDK. Is it enough? I’m betting that the next hardware iteration is a year away and, as I often say, if you keep waiting for the “perfect” product you will never buy anything.

So it’s a yes from me. I will buy a 3G iPhone, next week if I can. I’m not into queuing and I’m more or less an hour from the nearest store, so I’m not going to burst a blood-vessel getting it, but get it I will.

Thanks for listening!

The brainboxes in the tech industry are making it even easier to do this by merging our iPods with our mobile phones – one less gadget to carry, one less charger, so much smarter.

Except that I was shocked at the announcement on a recent flight to the effect that, although iPods etc could be used once airborne, mobile phones must remain switched off even if they have a flight safety mode and you just want to use them to listen to a bit of Bach.

Oh dear. So much for convergence.

So have I bought one? No. Why? O2 Ireland. OK, so there are several minor issues: I’d like to have more memory (32GB minimum) and maybe 3G, and clearly the software is going to develop very, very quickly over the next few months; but no, it’s the incredibly mean package from O2 that is making me wait.

I don’t mind the 499 euro price tag – it’s worth every cent – although it’s nearly 80 euro cheaper in the UK. I don’t mind the 45 euro per month for 18 months, but I want some value for that. In the UK, for about the same money, I’d get 600 minutes, more texts than I could dream of using, unlimited data (subject to fair usage) and 7,500+ free hotspots. In Ireland I’d get 175 minutes, plenty of texts (I’m not a big texter), 1GB data (OK, probably plenty but it’s the principle) and no free hotspots! OK, so I spend most of my time at home, so the hotspots are not such a big deal. It’s the minutes. O2 Ireland are not just taking the proverbial, they are profiteering.

I don’t expect a deal to match that in the US – Europe is always more expensive and we’ve learnt to live with that – but I do expect to be rather closer to the UK deal. O2 Ireland say their deal is similar to those in France and Germany, which may be true (kind of, the packages vary but on balance there may be an approximate equivalence) but I say that the French and Germans are also being ripped off!

So for me, right now, something has to give. I’m not sure what it will be that brings me to my tipping point, but I’ll know when it happens. In the meantime I’ll continue to lust after it!