Insane O2 iPhone sales policy
How long should I wait for an iPhone? It’s been over 3 months since I put my name on the waiting list at my ‘local’ store and still no sign of a 16GB black one, so I rang customer services to see if they could speed things up a bit. It didn’t go well.
Let me be clear about this: I’d like to buy an iPhone3G but I don’t really want to lose my current number. It’s not rocket science.
I’ve been an O2 customer for well over 8 years now. In that time I think I’ve had one upgrade, probably about 5 years ago. My monthly bills are small, but I was eligible for a silver upgrade, at least until everything changed in the ‘O2 Upgrade Fiasco’ a couple of weeks ago.
I live in Achill, Mayo so I don’t have much of a choice of O2 shops. Back in July, I put my name down on the waiting list in the Castlebar store. At the time, as I say, I was eligible for an upgrade and of course the only way to keep my number was to buy from a ‘real’ store, where I would be able to ‘upgrade’. I use the term ‘upgrade’ because that’s what O2 call it, but it’s nothing of the sort. There is no discount or other privilege associated with this particular type of ‘upgrade’ (to an iPhone), except that you get to keep your old number.
So, back to my call to customer care. Oh yes, I’m told, I can have one straight away. They are in stock in a lot of places, apparently, just not in my godforsaken backwater. After much ‘checking’ I was asked ‘Are you near a big city?’ No. Dublin is 5 hours. Galway or Sligo are 2.5. OK, no problem, just go online and order one.
Oh but no, I can’t keep my number. And I’m not eligible for an upgrade anymore. I’m out of contract, so I can close my account and buy an iPhone as a new customer, in which case I’ll get a new number. So I’ll have to tell all my friends, family, business associates etc. that my number has changed. I know, it’s hardly the end of the world. But is it really necessary? It’s a small nuisance and I’ll have to learn a new number, but no-one died. O2 will have to close one account and set up another, for the same person, at the same address, with the same bank details. Bit of a waste of time and money really.
Surely, I say to the customer service person, this is a nonsense? Wouldn’t it be more sensible just to give me the ‘upgrade’? Makes no difference to what I pay, I’d still be signing up for 18 months, it saves a few admin euro and saves me some hassle. Oh no, can’t do that. Computer says no. Suddenly I’m in the middle of a ‘Little Britain’ sketch.
Me: Aren’t you a bit embarrassed about this?
Customer Services: What do you mean?
Me: Haven’t there been lots of complaints about this?
CS: Yes, I think there have.
Me: So don’t you feel a bit embarrassed?
CS: Well, yes, I suppose so.
Me: So my only options are to close my account and buy an iPhone as a ‘new’ customer, or go without.
CS: You could wait until you are eligible for an upgrade.
Me: How long would that take?
CS: [checks my account] At your current rate of use it could take a couple of months.
Me: A couple of months? I haven’t used an upgrade in 5 years and I’m not eligible yet, but you think just a couple more months?
CS: Well, maybe a bit longer.
Me: What, like a year? Another 5 years? 10? Maybe I’ll be dead before I’m eligible? Maybe I can have my shiny new iPhone placed in my coffin with me?
CS: [a slight giggle] Probably not that long. You can check your eligibility online.
The conversation goes on: there is no facility to just add an upgrade to my account. No, a supervisor could not do it. No, none of the managers could do it either. Could Danuta Gray do it? Well, maybe, they don’t know. Don’t you think it’s just a bit mad? Well, yes, but that’s the way it works.
What a great system. O2 would rather close an account and open a new one, for no extra revenue, inconveniencing both parties. I’d love to meet the brains behind this idea.
I don’t think I need to go on. Naturally I’m disappointed, but hey ho, there’s nothing to be done. I’ll still get an iPhone, but maybe I’ll wait for the 3rd generation model? Watch this space!
